By Ronnie Mbuqe
A stated position is the requested outcome; an underlying interest explains the need. Different interests can make an apparent conflict easier to resolve.
One colleague may need a quiet morning and another a reliable deadline. Adjusting timing or handover may meet both needs without splitting every difference.
A simple starting point
Core Principles of Negotiation
-
Prepare thoroughly: Know your goals, limits, and alternatives (BATNA: Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement).
-
Listen actively: Understand the other party's needs and priorities.
-
Focus on value: Look for win-win solutions instead of just pushing for your way.
-
Be assertive, not aggressive: Stand your ground respectfully.
-
Communicate clearly: Use concise language, confirm understanding, and avoid assumptions.
Common Negotiation Tactics
-
Anchoring: Start with a strong initial position to influence perception.
-
Mirroring: Subtly mimic body language or phrasing to build rapport.
-
Silence: Pausing can encourage the other party to reveal more information.
-
Bundling: Combine offers or requests for mutually beneficial trade-offs.
-
Conditional concessions: Offer something if the other side meets certain conditions.
Negotiation Mindset
Successful negotiators focus on problem-solving instead of winning. Treat it as a collaboration, not a battle.
Step-by-Step Negotiation Process
- Define your objectives and what success looks like.
- Research the other party’s needs, constraints, and goals.
- Prepare your BATNA and possible trade-offs.
- Open the conversation with clear statements and questions.
- Listen actively and identify common ground.
- Propose solutions and make concessions strategically.
- Close the negotiation, summarizing agreements clearly.
- Reflect and learn for future negotiations.
Practical Tips for Everyday Negotiation
- Practice negotiating small things daily (price at a market, project deadlines).
- Stay calm and manage emotions under pressure.
- Ask open-ended questions to uncover needs.
- Document agreements to avoid misunderstandings.
- Know when to walk away, sometimes no deal is better than a bad deal.
Negotiation in Career & Business
Effective negotiation can help you:
- Negotiate salaries, promotions, or raises confidently.
- Close business deals or partnerships more favorably.
- Resolve conflicts with colleagues or clients.
- Maximize value in contracts, freelance work, or side hustles.
Practice Exercise
Role-play a negotiation scenario with a friend or colleague. Alternate positions and practice applying the tactics and frameworks listed above. Reflect on what worked and what didn’t.
Recommended Resources
- Books: "Never Split the Difference" by Chris Voss, "Getting to Yes" by Roger Fisher & William Ury
- Online courses: Coursera, LinkedIn Learning, Harvard Negotiation Project
- Podcasts: Negotiation experts share tips and real-life scenarios
Why can two people arguing over price still have room to agree?
A position is a stated demand; an interest is the reason behind it.
Trace the explanation
Exploring delivery, certainty, workload or payment timing can reveal options beyond one number. A possible agreement still needs to be compared with realistic alternatives.
Source and further reading: www.pon.harvard.edu
Negotiation Is Finding A Deal Both Sides Can Actually Live With
Negotiation is not simply arguing harder or trying to “win”. It is a structured conversation where people have partly different interests and need to decide whether an agreement is better than walking away. The strongest negotiator understands both the desired outcome and the alternatives if no deal is reached.
Preparation changes the conversation. Before asking for a salary increase, for example, collect evidence about responsibilities, results, market ranges and the value you have created. Decide your ideal outcome, your minimum acceptable outcome and what non-salary items could matter, such as training, flexibility or a review date.
Questions reveal information that demands do not. “What is making this difficult to approve?” can uncover a budget cycle, policy limit or timing issue. Once the real constraint is visible, both sides may find options that were hidden when the discussion was only “yes” versus “no”.
A good agreement should be specific. If someone promises “we will review this later”, clarify when, what will be reviewed and what evidence will matter. Negotiation ends with a shared understanding of the next action, not merely a friendly conversation.
Your alternative creates leverage
If you know what you will do if the deal fails, you are less likely to accept an agreement that is worse than your realistic alternative.
Silence is useful
People often weaken their own position by continuing to talk after making a clear request.
Relationships matter after the deal
In workplaces and families, you usually negotiate with people you must continue working with. Burning trust for a small win can be expensive later.
Two people asking for the same price may be trying to solve different problems
A supplier may value predictable payment more than a small increase in price; a customer may value delivery certainty more than a discount. Asking what matters can reveal trade-offs that a price-only argument misses.
Imagine commissioning a small website. You can discuss scope, revision rounds, delivery dates, support and payment stages, rather than endlessly pushing one total up or down. Put each agreed change in writing so both sides understand what the price now includes.
Understand the underlying interests to Record a specific exchange
Questions about Negotiation Skills
What is the difference between a position and an interest in negotiation?
A position is what someone is asking for; an interest is the underlying reason they want it, understanding the interest opens up more solutions.
How do I prepare before an important negotiation?
Identify your own priorities, guess at the other side's likely interests, and decide your walk-away point in advance.
Is negotiation only useful for salary discussions?
No. It applies to prices, deadlines, responsibilities and everyday disagreements as much as it applies to pay.
What is a common mistake people make when negotiating?
Treating it as a contest to win outright, instead of looking for terms both sides can accept.
What is BATNA?
It means your best alternative to a negotiated agreement: what you will realistically do if the deal is not reached.
Should I make the first offer?
Sometimes an informed first offer can anchor the discussion, but it should be based on evidence. If you lack information, asking questions first may be better.
How do I say no without ending the conversation?
Explain the constraint and, where useful, offer a condition or alternative: “I cannot meet that deadline, but I can deliver this part by Friday and the rest Monday.”
Why write agreements down?
Memory and interpretation differ. A written summary reduces later confusion about price, scope, dates or responsibilities.
A supplier's price cannot move, but your delivery date can. What might reveal another workable agreement?
Trace the explanation
Explore the reasons behind the stated position. A change in timing or scope may reduce a constraint, but confirm exactly what changes. A possible agreement must still be better than a realistic alternative for both sides.
Source and further reading: www.pon.harvard.edu
Why should you think about your alternative before discussing price?
Your best realistic alternative helps you judge whether an offer improves your situation. It is different from an optimistic target or an empty threat.
Compare the proposed agreement with what you can actually do without it. Consider costs and feasibility so that the alternative is evidence, not wishful thinking.
Prepare, ask, trade, and confirm
Negotiation is not simply trying to win an argument. It is a structured conversation about differences in needs, limits, and possible agreements. The strongest preparation is knowing what matters to you, what the other person may need, and what you will do if no acceptable agreement is reached.
1. Prepare your range and alternatives
Write down your preferred outcome, the minimum acceptable outcome, and the point at which you would walk away. Research comparable prices or terms where relevant. Also identify your best realistic alternative if the conversation fails. Without an alternative, it is easy to accept a bad agreement just to finish the discussion.
2. Ask before making assumptions
Use open questions such as “Which part of the schedule is hardest to change?” or “What would make this workable for you?” Listen for the underlying need. A manager may not be able to increase pay but might have flexibility over training, shifts, or responsibilities. You cannot know the available options until you ask.
3. Trade rather than simply concede
A trade links a change to something of value. For example: “If I take responsibility for the weekly report, can we agree on protected time for the training?” Be specific, realistic, and respectful. Do not offer something you cannot deliver or use threats you are not prepared to follow through on.
4. Confirm the agreement
Summarise what each person will do, the deadline, any conditions, and when you will review the arrangement. Written confirmation prevents different memories of the same conversation. If the matter involves a contract, employment rights, debt, or another legal issue, understand the relevant rules and seek qualified advice where necessary.
When the conversation becomes difficult
Slow down, return to the issue rather than attacking the person, and ask for a break if emotions are preventing clear thought. You can say, “I want to find a workable option, but I need to check these figures before agreeing.” A respectful pause is better than accepting terms you do not understand.
Practice: write one request, the reason it matters, two possible alternatives, and one question you need to ask. This is useful preparation for discussing schedules, project scope, shared responsibilities, or a purchase.
Prepare before you make the request
Negotiation is not simply convincing another person to give in. It is a structured conversation about needs, limits and possible trades. Good preparation reduces the chance of agreeing to something you cannot deliver or damaging a relationship over a misunderstanding.
Prepare four notes
- Your goal: what outcome would solve the problem?
- Your limit: what can you accept, and what would make the agreement unworkable?
- The other person's needs: what pressures, priorities or constraints might they have?
- Your alternatives: what will you do if no agreement is reached?
Use a clear conversation sequence
Describe the issue with specific facts, ask an open question, listen to the response, and propose an option that addresses the main needs on both sides. If the other person cannot accept it, ask which part is difficult and explore a different trade. Summarise the final agreement, including who will do what and by when. Written confirmation is especially useful when money, deadlines or responsibilities are involved.
Example: negotiating a deadline
Instead of saying “This deadline is impossible”, explain the work remaining and the trade-off: “I can deliver the tested core feature by Friday, or the full set by Tuesday. Which outcome is more important?” This offers a real choice without pretending that time and quality have no limits.
Negotiation should not rely on threats, deception or pressure that prevents informed consent. If the other party has much more power, the issue involves legal rights, or you feel unsafe, seek appropriate support rather than treating every conflict as a normal bargaining exercise.
Your fallback matters before the conversation starts
A workable alternative helps you judge whether an offer is acceptable. Without one, urgency can make a poor agreement look like the only route. Research realistic alternatives rather than inventing a threat you cannot carry out.
Prepare a minimum acceptable outcome and the questions you need answered. During discussion, summarise the other person's concern before proposing a trade. Agreement is useful only if the details can be carried out; a vague 'we'll sort it out later' can move the conflict into delivery.
Is making the first concession always a mistake?
No. Its value depends on what it achieves and whether it is understood. A specific conditional trade can clarify priorities; giving away something important without agreement may not.
A supplier cannot lower the price. What could you ask without assuming that they are being difficult?
One reasoned response
Ask which constraints drive the price and whether scope, delivery or payment terms can change. State your own constraints and keep an option to decline if the agreement would not work.
Source and further reading: www.pon.harvard.edu
Further reading
Page expanded: October 2026.
Sources
Sources and further reading
A closer lookA different schedule may solve the real problem
A freelancer cannot reduce a quote without losing money. The client mainly needs predictable cash flow. A staged scope and payment schedule may address that need without pretending the full work costs less.
Work through the distinction
Ask about constraints before proposing a concession. Record the agreed scope, milestones and what happens if requirements change. A negotiation is only useful if both sides understand the same terms.
What should be explored before cutting price?
Choose an answer to see feedback. You can try again.
Show the answer and explanation
The underlying constraint. Ask about constraints before proposing a concession. Record the agreed scope, milestones and what happens if requirements change. A negotiation is only useful if both sides understand the same terms.